scar.
dear c-section scar,
I didn’t want you.
I wanted an unmedicated birth.
I had my doula, my music playlist, my electric candles.
to get my baby in my arms however, I ended up getting you too.
but now I’m grateful for you.
every day when I see you, every moment that I feel a tender, sore, or numb spot below my bellybutton- I am reminded that my body grew a human.
I am reminded of the infertility battle I fought.
I am reminded of those days of utter despair, flipping over another pregnancy test and seeing it stark white and negative. it sometimes feels easy to forget the past, when now all I feel is this all consuming love for my child. but you remind me of what I endured to get him, and for that- I embrace and celebrate you.
I am grateful for all of it.
the treacherous journey where literally nothing went to plan… my finn, and you, were worth it all.
